Rachna says

Oh wow! So I have not written a single post this entire year. Crazy. And, it’s September. But, not an issue. I guess one writes when one writes.

So, the year has been quite a whirlwind so far. First half was all about my younger son, Gautam’s board exams and preparation for college entrances. A very stressful and high-energy time. Somehow, I envy dads, as they can distance themselves from all the worry and anxiety. I was truly going nuts.

Luckily, all that passed well. He is now in college in Mumbai and settling in. Super happy about that. I truly believe that kids have to leave their homes to begin their journeys. It is a time of transition and uncertainty. It is not easy but absolutely important. As parents we are always there. We speak daily, and guide as best as we can. But, we know that he will evolve into a smarter adult version of himself as he emerges on the other side of this.

But that also means that we are empty nesters now. It is a kind of a different experience this time around compared to when the older boy left home. He went so far away in Covid time. It was nerve wracking. Comparatively, Gautam is closer to extended family in Mumbai and a short flight away from home. That feels good. Definitely less daunting on my nerves.

So, we picked up the pieces and tried to string together a routine anew. No waking up early to prepare tiffins or rushing to stop his school bus. The entire school hustle bustle is out of my life, and I am not complaining. The husband goes to work thrice a week, so there are still some lunchboxes to pack.

The chore of cooking has reduced drastically. It took me a few weeks to understand how little to cook so that I could cook enough for the both of us with just a few leftovers. I have waved bye to my cook who was doing dinner earlier, and have gone back to cooking full-time now. It’s useful because it gives me ample time to test and photograph recipes as well.

Being an empty nester also means adjusting to being only a couple again. Life has come a full circle from when we started this journey together twenty five years ago. We have raised our kids and Coco, and now they have embarked upon their journeys. Lots of philosophical musings around these thoughts which I will share perhaps later.

Now we are navigating our 50s. This stage of life is gearing towards staying well, both mentally and physically. We are trying to listen more to our bodies and minds, grapple with things like difficulty falling asleep, bloating or random joint pains. I have recently found out that I can’t really tolerate plain milk anymore.

So, tea and coffee have changed. Can’t have milkshakes or pure whey. But can eat yogurt, paneer, ghee and cheese. My level of spice tolerance has also gone down a lot.

We are also discovering new ways of being around each other. Being just the two of us has actually reduced our squabbles. Earlier, we could just ignore each other and speak to the kids when we fought. But now, we know we have to get back to each other or stare at the walls, so well, we try to resolve the squabbles sooner. 🙂

We are also using this time to visit relatives and take short weekend trips together. Some of it is in exploring our own city. One of the things I enjoyed doing was attending a live stand-up comedy show for the first time. It was nice. However, I guess I need to find more comedians whose comedy aligns with what I enjoy. Too much of profanity is not what I dig. Smart witty comedy like Seinfeld, Amit Tandon or Aiyyo Shraddha is more up my alley.

I hope to learn and explore new things and passions. Maybe, get back to my Hindustani Classical Music training. There are apps for that now. I have my regular work to keep me occupied and fulfilled. Can’t stress the importance of that especially for the ladies out there. It lends meaning and identity. Pursue a passion or a hobby or volunteer.

I believe that the most important thing as we age is purpose. Why must we get up from the bed? What does the day hold for me? Social interactions and preoccupations that nourish our mind and heart are of utmost importance. I am also trying to spend quality time with old friends. 

The good part is that I feel more at peace and less anxious now. Fitness and health always continue to be the focus. So, that’s about it for now. Visiting the older son soon, so definitely looking forward to spending time with him while juggling work, travel and of course cooking.

Oh, and by the way moved this blog back to WordPress hosting, so you may notice the change of themes. This blog of mine is so dear to me because it helped me launch a satisfying career in writing and blogging. Also because it shares so many anecdotes from when my kids were young. They are a riot to read now. 🙂 Hope you all are well. While I make no promises, I hope to keep sharing my thoughts more.