I woke up this morning to the news of the actress Sridevi dying last night. It was sudden and so unexpected. Like many others, I actually thought that it must be a hoax which it wasn’t. The entire day passed by with a heavy heart. It is like a part of my childhood went along with her, like someone dear to me had been taken away. There is something about movie stars and how they light up our screens so much so that we feel close to them, as if we knew them up, close and personal.
I remember writing a post on her movie English Vinglish when I watched it with my kids a few years back. What outstanding acting! I am sure so many of us related with her performance. I have yet to watch Mom that released last year. But today, I watched Chaalbaaz with the kids. They had immensely enjoyed Mr. India and liked this one as well. Just one of the ways to handle the disquiet and emotional loss that we feel, to somehow relive them through celluloid.
But, it was more than a fan’s loss. What impacted me more about her demise was at the level of a mother. With two daughters who are so young, one of them a teen, I could almost understand what they lost. The death of a parent is a loss that one finds hard to deal with at any age. But it is more so when the person goes away at such a young age, unexpectedly, when they had not even enjoyed everything that life had to offer.
How do you reconcile with it? It is not fair for sure. You needed them for more time, much more time. So many memories in your life will be created without them in it. I know! I lost my mother when she was 52. It was 17 years ago and the pain while blunted with the passage of time still ebbs and flows. Celebrations, losses or just plain vanilla days, I reach out to her and think how it would have felt to have her in them. I remember a few years back when I was really sick, I held on to her memory for solace. That is the hold loving mums have on us and our lives.
I do so many things to honour my mother’s memories. I enjoy cooking just like she did. I recreate so many of the dishes she loved as it makes me feel close to her. I share many stories of their ‘nani’ with the kids because they never met her. I can only imagine the joy she would have experienced had she lived to witness their births, see them growing up. All those thoughts swirled in my mind when I heard of Sridevi’s death. A mere actor, she impacted all of us with her brilliant acting. And we will miss her. But we have her movies to compensate for her loss.
The people in her life – her family, relatives and costars will feel the raw loss of losing her so suddenly. Her daughters will have it tough, no doubt. As a mother, I feel in pain for them.
Every such story of loss of a young life that I read makes me think about the uncertainty of life. We don’t really know for sure, do we? As morbid as it sounds, who knows whose time is up when? It is yet another nudge for all of us to pay attention to the big picture. To live our lives in a way that makes us happy and content.
And to count our blessings every single day. To hug our near and dear ones a big longer and say a prayer so that we continue to remain happy and healthy in each other’s lives.
Losing you is really sad, Sridevi. You were a brilliant actor who is a role model for many actresses in India today. May you rest in peace. May the Almighty give your family the courage to bear this loss.
Rachna says 
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