So exams are done and dusted almost (the elder son finishes tomorrow). But for me, they were over last week when the younger son finished his. Why? Because the elder son studies on his own. And apart from regular reminders to go and study, I hardly do much. In this post, I have already written about how the younger son and I have very different ways in which we approach studies. And that has always created a lot of heartburn for me when I taught him.
Things came to a showdown last FA when I realised that both of us were ending up in distress. Then I let go. I told him that I will no longer do revisions with him. He will study himself and will take responsibility for his grades. Of course, I still help him out when he comes to me for help and we both sat together and made his study time table but the control has passed on from my hands to his now.
He had his final exams coming up and the hyper self that I am was screaming inside but very calm externally. We went through the entire exams without a single tantrum. It was so easy on our nerves. Really, it was a relief as well. I don’t know how he has fared and currently, I am not too concerned. He may get poorer grades than what he usually gets but he owns them now. I think that is always so much better than getting pushed into doing something and feeling miserable at it.
Considering that he is moving to 5th grade, he has a lot of time to polish his approach and learn from his mistakes. Most importantly, he will not hate me for constantly being on his head. This is not to say that it was all smooth sailing. We moms, are stricken with guilt of not doing enough, of shirking our responsibilities. I faced those as well, but I got through that period. I am feeling so much more confident now.
I will continue to push him to achieve the best of his potential. That is what I’ve always told him and the elder son. My only disappointment is when they fail at something only because of lack of trying.
The elder son is moving to 10th grade next month. He has already got a taste of heavy duty studying in 9th and attempting papers that came directly from the Board. Trying as we might, we can’t shield them from the pressure of Board exams. But, I also witnessed a huge change in him in 9th and that is how he is competing so well to be the best of what he is capable of. A casual attitude is fast replaced by a determined one.
My way of parenting may be tough as nails but compassionate. Tough on both myself and them but always with kindness and firmness to drive home the message. Considering the amount of affection they have for me, I feel that something is going right somewhere.
How did the exams go for your kids?
Pic courtesy: Chinnapong on Shutterstock
Rachna says 
Leave a reply to Rachna Cancel reply