Towards mid-May, it being summer holidays for children when I was simply unable to handle my time, I pulled the plug on my FB profile. I deactivated it knowing that I will be back, later, when my life was more sorted. Why did I give so much importance to something that was completely within my control? Why was I spending so much time on Facebook anyway? And more importantly, why was it affecting my moods, my wellbeing?
So, first I pulled the plug and then I directed my attention to these uncomfortable questions. Uncomfortable because they were implying that well I wasn’t really as disciplined and organized as I considered myself to be and also that I was letting something which could be a real boon affect me negatively. So, I stayed off FB for two whole weeks. And the surprising part for me was that I didn’t miss it at all. There was no urge to log in and check what others were saying. And no urge to rant or extol something. One concern I had was about sharing my blog links. Will people read me without seeing my posts as reminders on their TL? Apparently, that was unfounded. I found the same readers reading me anyway. As a matter of fact, I could now devote more time to reading books and blogs. I completed 3 books in 2 weeks along with my usual work routine and children’s holidays. I liked that a lot. I had a mini travel trip which was so much fun because I was literally offline. Checking mails really does not count now :-). I observed more, connected more.
Some takeaways that I would love to share from my experiment:
- It is not so difficult to stay away from FB if you have a full life and varied interests. Life is not boring. And living your every waking minute on FB is a sign of a problem somewhere.
- The word addiction is never to be taken lightly. I get annoyed when people are always on the phone – Whatsapping, Facebooking or whatever else. It kills conversations and sometimes relationships. Since we are all adults, it is important for us to introspect and step back when we are crossing the line. I know I did. I will keep doing it in the future as well.
- Never stay logged on always. Make it difficult for yourself to take a peek. So, I have disabled notifications on my smartphone. Hence I only go there, when I want to go there not because some random update pinged me. I also keep the wifi on my phone off most times. My chats are always off on FB. I respond to messages when I go online. In other words, I am taking the control of my actions in my own hands.
- Keep strict time duration for your online activities. If you are a blogger, you must also be reading blogs apart from writing them. This takes quite a bit of time. If you are regular on twitter and FB, keep a time slot, say half an hour in the morning and the same in the evening. At other times, do not venture there. Slowly, you can make this a part of your routine.
- Invest in writing better content than networking to be read. If you read and comment on others’ blogs and write reasonably well, you will have an audience. For me writing is something I enjoy. I wrote when I had no one reading or commenting and I write now when some people read me. It is important to stay on top of your priorities.
- You will find your moods getting better. I did. No matter what we say, sometimes the conversations on FB may drain you, irritate you, frustrate you, anger you or even drive you into depression. It will all depend upon the state of mind that you are in. Multiple studies have shown that to be the case. It is highly unlikely that you are an exception. Hence, choose your friends on FB wisely and the groups you inhabit as well. There is a very handy unfollow button that I have personally found very useful. Use it to cut out noise and negativity.
- People have moved on. I remember feeling majorly pleased when I first came on FB. I could reconnect with school friends, college friends, colleagues! People I hadn’t met for ages. After the initial euphoria died down, I have seen most of my friends having barely any presence on FB. Some have even deleted their profiles. Then came the experiment of adding bloggers – people I was reading and now could be connected with on a daily basis. But that honeymoon was short lived too. Though, I have made some really great friends among bloggers, there are yet others I have stopped reading simply because I find them annoying as people. In hindsight, it would have been better if our contact had stayed only via blogs. There is something called familiarity breeding contempt.
- Your friends will always be in your life. FB is just a medium. There are other mediums like the good old phone calls and emails. And needless to say that I was in touch with all my good blogger friends despite not being there on FB.
Things that I sorely missed after deactivating my profile:
- I had to create new profiles on all the sites where I could not log into via FB anymore.
- I could not reply to comments on my blog via FB plugin.
- I could not manage my blog page as someone else was now the admin.
- I could not reach out to others who were not in my best friends list but whose interactions I tremendously enjoyed though some of them I was in touch with on twitter.
- I missed out on content from the multiple sites that I am subscribed to on FB but was not getting notifications from anymore.
To summarize, the issue is not with FB but with us individuals. We have always known it. As an adult, if you are happy spending all your time on FB, be my guest. For me, as I mentioned in one conversation, it is a very small part of my online life. And I hope to keep it firmly that way! After the detox I am back on FB and much more disciplined I must say.
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