There is a certain virus in the air. It has taken India by storm. No, it is not a consequence of nature’s fury in the form of incessant rains or cyclones. It is not due to smog or pollen that starts afflicting our over-populated polluted cities at the doorstep of winter. It is a virus that hits our country with regular and deadly precision every year for a fortnight or two ahead of one of the biggest festivals we celebrate, Diwali. Of course, I am not talking about retail therapy errr virus.

So potent is this virus that all women are left delirious in its wake. Even normally lazy and happy with clutter and dirt ones like yours truly. Yes, this is called the “safai virus”! It strikes all homemakers, even the Indian diaspora on foreign shores. Weekdays and weekends are spent doing backbreaking work, scrubbing, cleaning, washing and drying with a frenzy unmatched.

Every year around Diwali, our homes undergo intensive cleaning sessions. Mind you, the cleaning is not of the kind where everything is stuffed out of sight to make things look neat. This is my number one strategy all year long, by the way. When this virus strikes, these same overflowing drawers, shelves and wardrobes are emptied. You may even end up discovering long-lost stuff while you are at it. The virus depresses you. Everything seems dirty and super dirty! You can’t believe you were living in this squalor! The more you clean the more dirt you uncover. This seems like such a monumental task that you are constantly yo-yoing between hope and utter despair. Then this contagious virus spreads to the other members of the family either naturally or forcefully.

So, the hubby is engaged in scrubbing bathrooms and fans while the wife takes over the kitchen cabinets, shelves and wardrobes. Kids help in vacuuming the windows; even the younger one is kept busy wiping the grills. The dog goes and hides lest his services be sought as well. Yes, the maid helps too, but this kind of cleaning is best done personally. The menu on these days ranges between khichdi with dahi and chutney and khichdi with raita and papad! If anyone in the family so much as murmurs about the monotony of the eating fare, the mother hen breathes fire and threatens with lethal consequences. Slowly as the cloths get grimier, the house emerges shinier (only in the eyes of the folks inhabiting the space). Strangely, others don’t even notice your extraordinary effort.

Diwali is just a week away, and I am counting days till the virus loses its grip. Yes, this virus afflicts you with aches of all kinds and possesses you to clean everything in your vicinity. Excuse me, but I must finish my other work because I have to get back to my cleaning.

Do you suffer from Diwali cleaning madness as well?

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75 responses to “A deadly virus!”

  1. Deeps Avatar

    LOL!! Rachna, that was a cracker of a post! 😀

    You know, in all likelihood, this Safari virus, would probably be one virus that people wouldn’t mind getting bugged by! 😉

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Thanks, Deeps :). At least this virus runs its course soon. Of course, there are others who are afflicted more severely and continue to exhibit symptoms all year round ;-)!

      Like

  2. Shilpa Garg Avatar

    Aha! My favorite virus!! Agree, its intensity reaches an all time high during Diwali! Thank God, I was free from the affliction of this virus last week and the ‘suffering’ lasted a week!! With me the routine is that I start the day with great zeal and by mid noon, when the mess is at its peak, I get panic attacks. A tea break and I am re-energized to take on the world, I mean the room 😀

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    1. Rachna Avatar

      haha Shilpa! Of course, I now how very particular you are about cleaning :). My routine is similar to yours too. I start with a fervor and go on till lunch time by which time so much of my body is in agony. A lunch break and nap and I am raring to go with lesser vigor :).

      Like

  3. Ruch Avatar

    We just got out house white washed and I thought I would escape this virus this year – since everything has been dusted and cleaned ! But No ! All of us are at it again ! My back aches from the scrubbing 🙂

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehe Really! Now painting and cleaning is the worst double whammy. The last time we got our house painted, it was an ordeal beyond compare. We solemnly promised not to touch the paint even if it started peeling!

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  4. purbaray Avatar

    Hahahaha….Rachna. I was imagining you with a jhadoo and dusting cloth and your terrified family crouching with fear in a spotlessly clean corner of the house.

    Long live khichdi!

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    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehe Purba! Long live khichdi indeed! The poor folks at home are mortified at this avatar of mine. They are sincerely praying that I come to my senses soon :).

      Like

  5. Bhagyashree Avatar

    Ha ha ha… Rachna. I have blissfully escaped this virus from two years or so. My strategy… doing it on a routine basis so that I can escape the yearly gruel.

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    1. Rachna Avatar

      Your strategy is every homemaker’s dream :)!

      Like

  6. My Say Avatar

    while leaving for the office this was the exact topic being discussed at the breakfast table.. 🙂 all women think alike when it comes to Diwali cleaning 😀

    Sorry for eloping 🙂 I have joined work hence blog reading is just mission impossible for me 🙂
    A great pre-Diwali cracker read !! You rock as always 🙂

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Ah after a long time! Welcome back! Glad you liked the post, My Say :). I can imagine all men turning their noses up at the crazy women afflicted with this debilitating condition :).

      Like

  7. sangeethamenon Avatar

    Hahaha ..quite a good read ..yes diwali cleaning is on in my house too..

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Thanks, Sangeeta :). And I imagine, the mad stupor that must have completely taken a hold of you.

      Like

  8. Locomente Avatar

    Oh yes… I suffer too…
    And wishing you a happy cleaning
    And advance diwali wishes for you!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Wish you a very happy Diwali too, Locomente!

      Like

  9. chsuresh63 Avatar

    Hmm! smiles indulgently If the virus does not run its course even after your house is done, Rachna, you know where you can come 🙂

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Absolutely, I have some inkling about that destination, Suresh ;-)!

      Like

  10. menons129 Avatar

    Ah, the safari virus ! It is in its most virulent stage in our house. There are books, books and books. There is no space, but no one wants to discard any book. I used to donate them to a library, but this year, no one wants to part with even one book.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      LOL Ushaji! We have the maximum arguments in the house when it comes to disposing things :). Uff, it is such a troublesome task!

      Like

  11. alkagurha Avatar

    True. The bug hits with all its vengeance around Diwali. After all it is all about pleasing the Goddess of wealth.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Oh yes, the bug is at its most virulent around this time :).

      Like

  12. Muses of the Heart Avatar
    Muses of the Heart

    Lol!!! That was one hilarious and interesting read Rachna 🙂 Even I remember being bitten by this bug during the festive season 😀

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehe Muses of the Heart, misery has its companions :).

      Like

  13. Soumya Prasad Avatar

    Cleaning since a week and its still not over 😦

    Any tips? 😛

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Same with me. Weekdays are slow! I have minor stuff left. Hopefully should be able to finish it off in a day or two. Tips :). Just get as many people to chip in as you can.

      Like

  14. vethal Avatar

    I am all praise for north indians who do this, in south india we don’t have this safai thing. we continue to celebrate amidst the mess. its a good habit 🙂 and as I said, i always remember u during this time.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehe Vani! Somehow, Diwali got linked with cleaning because of the tale of Goddess Laxmi visiting your house on that day. Of course, you don’t want to welcome her in a shoddy house. Whether one believes in the lore or not, I believe this intensive cleaning once a year is good. Of course, it can be done any time of the year but the habit works well for me.

      Like

  15. inducares Avatar

    I too am charged with this virus.BTW where do i find a husband who will clean bathrooms and fans?

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      With a wife like me who ensures that no one sits on their asses while I slog :).

      Like

  16. The Fool Avatar

    Ah!Thankfully my wife is not too finicky and we make do with whatever maid servant manages to do.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      I am not finicky either. This annual cleaning is something that Is pretty much a part of Diwali for me since a long time. North Indians do it diligently. And since it is something good, I prefer to follow it as well.

      Like

  17. chattywren Avatar

    Super ROFL post, Rachna! Thankfully, we’ve moved houses recently, so not had much of a chance to make it dirty enough to merit this type of cleaning. Keeping the safai virus affliction to certain selected areas only. Brings back memories of my childhood days:) Happy Diwali to you all!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      🙂 Chatty! Lucky you! Happy Diwali to you too.

      Like

  18. Nischala Avatar

    Honestly, I don’t know whats the deal with the “cleanliness bug”.. It can be done anytime, but no.. Only during DIWALI.. and really no body can tell the difference apart from the woman of the house.. Happy cleaning and Happy Diwali.. Let the fireworks begin 🙂 Nischala

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Yes, no big deal at all, Nischala! For me, it symbolizes a routine ritual every year that benefits my home as it is intensely cleaned. Of course, no one else can tell, unless one really keeps their house shoddy :). Happy Diwali to you too.

      Like

  19. Shachi Thakkar Avatar
    Shachi Thakkar

    I try to avoid this virus but man, its so contagious….always wins over me :). I recently hired a lady to help me in the morning for couple of hours, and last week she told me on Monday morning…”did u clean the kitchen all weekend :)?” I did spend more than half a day scrubbing it. Hope I recover from the virus soon!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehe I tell you; I fall prey so easily as well, Shachi :). I did the exact same last weekend, cleaning the kitchen and living room like a maniac. My maid was quite amused :). And she had an off on Sunday! I am looking forward to being disease free in a couple of days.

      Like

  20. Poornima Avatar

    Hi Rachna, New look of the page is gr8. I liked the post on this new virus – one virus which does more good than bad 🙂 s, I guess, we can welcome it. Only once in a year though 🙂 it’s too much of work going on everywhere. Seems to me, there are just so many things to give away 😉

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Thanks, Poornima :). I like minimal. This is a good virus alright. It is singlehandedly cleaning out muck from our home. Don’t get me started on giving away. There are huge negotiations that happen in my home every year ;-)!

      Like

  21. Ritu Lalit Avatar

    Sprained an ankle, throat is sore as I screamed at family, pets and servant. Also had a huge argument with the dry cleaner who had to take the curtains away for cleaning. Ack!
    Diwali cleaning 😦

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Oops! Take care. Yes, I have been a raving maniac too screaming and yelling at everyone.

      Like

  22. latha Avatar

    Lolol….honey, you need a good massage before the virus is killed. I just moved two months back, so, no virus in my home…:p
    Happy Diwali to you and your family, Rachna.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Ah, you lucky lucky woman :). While I slog, you enjoy! Wish you a very happy Diwali too, Latha!

      Like

  23. Rahul Avatar
    Rahul

    Afflicted with the virus already:)

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Are you helping out with the cleaning too? 🙂

      Like

  24. Rickie Avatar

    Hah! I say, better this virus than that stupid dengue that’s going around in these parts!

    You really should have put up a couple of ‘Before’ and ‘After’ photos to go with the piece. Did you avoid doing that because, like you said, an outsider wouldn’t have known the difference? 😀

    I like the new minimalist design of the blog!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      True that about the dengue! The cleaning is in the details — clean switchboards, walls scrubbed, fans cleaned, cabinets cleaned, corners paid extra attention to, and lots of junk lying in boxes sorted, discarded or given away.Except the curtains that were changed, none of the before or after pics will show you these ;-)!

      Thanks! I like the new theme too. I had wanted to remove all useless widgets and have promptly placed them in Acclaim :).

      Like

  25. jaishvats Avatar

    Boy that’s an awesome virus u have caught . Happy cleaning and happy Diwali

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      ThanksJaish :). Wish you a very happy Diwali as well!

      Like

  26. Ashwini Avatar

    Happy cleaning… The virus hit me too and doing rounds in my house. But I feel happy with what it leaves with in the end – a tidier surrounding and lots of happiness.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Absolutely,Ashwini! I love how the house looks these days :).

      Like

  27. Jas Avatar

    haha 😀 I am caught in the web too 🙂 I am just praying for it to get over soon.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Hope your prayers are answered soon! Happy Diwali :).

      Like

  28. Sabyasachi Patra Avatar

    I am so lazy when I am in the cities that this virus of yours can’t catch me. 🙂

    You write well. Keep it up.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Thank you, Sabyasachi! You have figured out a good escape from this virus :). Thanks for reading.

      Like

  29. anuglyhead Avatar
    anuglyhead

    Oh we r going thru this right nw…and guess what the Virus has even made me catch a cold!! Sometimes I feel that my Mother was a Nagar Nigam employee in her previous birth. Not that I am complaining!!!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehe Hope you get rid of the virus soon. Happy Diwali :).

      Like

  30. Nisha Avatar

    Lol!! I need the virus!!! Somehow my house seems clean and I have no motivation to clean!! Kindly pass 🙂

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Hahaha I wish I could pass on the virus to you :).

      Like

  31. Happy Diwali to everyone.. | Perceptions Avatar

    […] run-up to this day was preceded by days of rigorous pre-Diwali cleaning. Yes, I was bitten by the safai virus too! How could I escape it when so many of you were putting up posts and tweets on how you all were […]

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  32. kayemofnmy Avatar

    Your post reminded me of a discussion I’d had with a South African lady once. The gist was that here, in NZ, we managed everything without servants through the year. As a result we both agreed wryly, we’d started off trying to keep up the standards we’d set for our servants back home and as the years passed, become less exacting.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Yes, it definitely is less exacting now. If something cannot be done, I don’t fret too much over it :). Happy Diwali!

      Like

  33. Diwakar Narayan Avatar

    ROFL! It is really saddening to see that others don’t notice the cleanliness that has been the result of your tiring days and weeks. So apt post for Diwali.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      It is okay, Diwakar! The cleaning is actually done for our own selves, right! :). Thank you for reading!

      Like

  34. Amit Avatar

    Our maid is terrified during Diwali. She goes through unmentionable tortures by the hand of my mother and gets a terrific return gift to ease her pains. 🙂

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Our maid here is super busy. She hardly finds time to help with any additional work :).

      Like

  35. Destiny's child Avatar

    Oh god, I am coming to this post so late! Belated Diwali wishes to you and your family! 🙂

    The cleaning virus is deadly. It generally does not attack the inmates of my home because we are all pretty comfortable with things lying around and a little dirt (that’s comfy!).:D But oh god, when it does, it does with a fury, vengeance, call it what you may! I am sure you managed to make your space look spic and span. What if no one else noticed it? It’s definitely an achievement. Yo! 😉

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      No problem :). Wish you a very Happy Diwali too! I am always in the state that you have described in your house, very comfortable with the dirt and the clutter :). But once I start cleaning, I do it with a vengeance.

      Like

  36. Ruch Avatar

    We are clebrating Diwali in Cgarh and I thought I in Delhi will escape the virus But No, I am at ti again— Cleaning and scrubbing . My back aches so !

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehehe Dekho yeh beemari kahin bhi peecha nahin chhodti. Luckily, my cleaning is finally over. yippee!

      Like

  37. Shailaja Avatar

    This was so much fun to read and I need to get back to my post-Diwali cleaning now. I laughed out aloud at the khichdi reference.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Glad you liked the post, Shailaja. Now that Diwali is gone, I can go back to my crazy ways again. I am not going to look at that duster for a few days.

      Like

  38. […] This post has been previously published on Rachna says. […]

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I’m Rachna

Welcome to Rachna says, my first abode on the internet where I share snippets of my mundane life, as I navigate empty nest with my husband. You can also get my recipes at my food blog, Rachna cooks.

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