There used to be a serial called “Hum Paanch” a long time ago. It was a story of 5 sisters and had a character “aunty” who was always conscious of anyone calling her aunty. So her pet dialogue was, “Aunty mat kaho na!” As moms, we are used to very old kids calling us aunty, and we take it in our stride. It is like once you become a mother, you become universal aunty.

But, I remember the jolt I felt when I was called aunty for the first time. I was newly married and 26 at that time.After my wedding, we visited the houses of many of my husband’s friends. At one such friend’s house, the lady of the house warmly welcomed us. She then called her daughter who was studying in 12thstandard at that time. She introduced us, and what do you know. The girl says, “Hello aunty?” I was just a few years older to her and she calls me aunty. I was so stunned that I almost fell off the chair. I am sure my expression must have said it all :). Her mom could gauge my reaction and embarked upon her own tales where she had been called aunty in a similar way.

No, I have no trouble in accepting my age. But, I find it plain stupid that someone would do that. Some women deliberately call other women aunty in their effort to feel young. I really don’t know. After that rude shock, I had no trouble with anyone calling me aunty ever :). But, I do give it back to smart ass men and women of my age who try to do this.

Yes, it is a cultural thing that most Indians call their parents’ friends uncles and aunties instead of Mr. or Ms. It is a hangover from the olden days when people were called kaka, kaki, tau, bua, mausi etc. which have been anglicized uniformly as uncle and aunty. Frankly, I am happy with the relatives I have and don’t want unwanted ones especially of the older variety springing surprises on me ;-).

Did you ever face these “uncle” and “aunty” experiences?

Pic courtesy: Freedigitalphotos.net

182 responses to “Aunty Who?”

  1. Rickie Avatar

    Hah! I think just like people remember even years later exactly where they were and what they were doing when a catastrophic event occurred (e.g. Sep 11, 2001 etc), we also seem to have vivid memories of the day we were first addressed as Uncle/Aunty!I so clearly remember mine! ;)This was such a delightful post. By the way, a very happy wedding anniversary to you and your husband!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehe Rickie Yes, I can see that most people who commented could clearly recall this catastrophic event in their lives. Thanks for the wishes. Looks like you had a rocking time in Cal.

      Like

  2. sangeeta Avatar

    ha ha..am laughing out loud at Alka’s comment.Yes it is funny when grown up kids start calling you aunty once your are married..I have had my share as well , it used to be hugely entertaining.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hehe Sometimes it can be really amusing. I love to see the faces of smart alecs too when I give it back or when I witness someone else give it back :). There was this lady who was called aunty by another fat lady who might be just a few years younger to her. This lady turned around and said, “Apna chehra dekha hai sheeshe main. Budhape mein sathiya gayee ho :).”

      Like

  3. Insignia Avatar

    Why am I not surprised? This is so common in Bangalore. I have been addressed Aunty by my mid-age maid when I was still in school. They think “Aunty” is a general form of addressing and dont understand what it means

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Me too, so confusing.

      Like

  4. kateshrewsday.com Avatar

    People are only too happy to stereotype using age. As I grow older I try very hard not to pigeonhole anyone, young or old.

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  5. Cloud Nine Avatar

    Hahaha! Insane, but people do call us aunty to make them look young. I too give back:P

    Like

  6. Purba Avatar

    Ah! the Aunty syndrome – the most dreaded moment in a woman’s life. Haven’t we all faced it, spent sleepless nights over it and finally learnt to live with it?

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Yeah one has to :).

      Like

  7. Ashwini C N Avatar

    Thankfully I’,m not yet in that stage But I do dread that day. Sometimes its better to be formal and address someone as Mr and Ms instead of being cordial and addressing someone as Aunty or Uncle!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      It is the most irritating when those in your age group do so.

      Like

  8. Destiny's child... Avatar

    I can imagine your horror. I remember there used to be one aunty, my mother’s age, and she used to address my mother as aunty. How my mother hated her! 😀

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      What idiots :).

      Like

  9. Bhavana Nissima Avatar

    LOL!!! Lovely post–a post that makes me want to vent so bad. Yeah, yeah have been called aunty umpteen times by all kinds of folks and it irritates me. The reason is not being called “older” but that older in Indian context often means you are not part of the “interesting” group and also desexualizes you in a way. What is more, I have noticed serials which make fun of “older” women who prefer not to be called aunty–as if such women are some kind of pigs unaware of their “true state of body and mind”!But I guess, I am less angry these days after being assaulted so many times as “aunty.” Some of my nieces who love me tease me purposely as “aunty” and I know they do it out of love and that even that teasing I am more their friend than a relation!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Ah, what an insightful comment. Of course, I wanted to say that the comment makes you feel as if you are over the hill and as if we are wrong in protesting the “aunties” and “uncles” heaped on us. Me too — less angry these days. I take “you look too young to be a mother of two” with the same pinch of salt as the “aunty” doled out to me :). Teasing is fine but we can make out when the intent is anything but honorable!

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  10. Unknown Avatar

    I am a newly married college going 20 year old! I stay with my husband in an apartment.. Seriously Rachna, hate it when kids(be it 3 year old to school going) in the apartment address me as an aunty. Its terrible! 😦 Aunty hasnt sunk into me yet, i feel its too early that I be called an aunt by them.. why not didi! I was researching on this stereotypic Indian issue and thats when I saw your blog. It really helps and calms me down to see others have also experienced this. Just being tall and a lil chubby doesnt make me an aunt right! How do I react to this?And what do I call people older to me, say around 10-15 years older… jus calling them by name sounds disrespectful… Can i call them didi/akka ignoring how many kids theyve got?!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Yep our culture creates quite a mess. We can’t call elders by name. And aunty or uncle is dicey :). I think it is always safe to call didi or bhaiya, that is harmless :).

      Like

  11. rahul aggarwal Avatar

    lol .. it wasn’t with uncles or aunties with me .. but while i was in one of the apparel shops, a lady walked into the store and thought i was the sales guy who will show some piece of cloth, said, “bhaiya woh dikhaana…!!!”

    imagine how embarrassing it must have been for me…i first time in my life felt like asking mother earth to open up and pull me in!!!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      That happened once with me too :). I felt so sheepish after that.

      Like

  12. phoenixritu Avatar

    🙂 I am okay with being called Aunty, Behenji, Mataji, whatever … it doesn’t change my own opinion of me, which is stuck somewhere between age ten and 14. Let them be – they’re not okay with themselves and need to make others uncomfortable.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Happy that you can do that :). I have this keeda to give it back to people who are doing it with a malicious intent. Kya karen. Unko sabak sikhana bhi zaroori hai!

      Like

  13. annie Avatar
    annie

    Hi Rachna,

    You resemble my friend sooooo much. The post is really interesting. I have such people around me who would definitely be my parent’s age (62 and 59 yrs) but would want to call my husband ‘bhaisaab’ or ‘Dada’ ( live in Kolkata of course!). My husband just doesn’t mind but I get wild.(Obviously that means I am their bhabi). I think it also happens because we do not address these people as ‘Aunty’ or ‘Uncle’ ….they observe us for some days and then decide that they can easily get away by calling us ‘Dada-Bhabi’….and boy! they do. Both of us really find it hard to address people as ‘Aunty’ or ‘Uncle’. We are in our early forties and find it silly to call even our parents’ age people as ‘Uncle’ or ‘Aunty’.

    But what to do, even my husband thinks and behaves like an old man and wants me to do the same. My parents married young and I find them so full of life, even now. And here, my husband reminds me of my age… umar ho raha hai…gussa thoda kam karo…then on showing fangs….says.. was just concerned about my health (BP- Sheepee)….btw he is the one who has BP…I have no BP and no sugar. Not that I look old and haggard. For me its a bit strange….young people call me ‘Didi’..and older people (father’s age or mother’s age) also address me as ‘Didi’.

    I don’t know what to make of my husband’s comments or for that matter other elderly people around me. Since I teach in a college, one gentleman who is in his sixties calls me ‘madam’. Only one lady in the apartment says… “hum to aapko naam se hi bulaenge’.

    Anyways, I was looking for tips to handle such situations.

    Annie

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Oh annie, I understand your angst. What can I say? At different times I use different tactics — ignore or give it back. But mostly, I have learned not to take it to heart. That helps a lot :).

      Like

  14. sam Avatar
    sam

    Nice article. I came here when I googled “grown up woman calls me aunty”. I am perfectly okay with kids or even teenagers calling me aunty…I am 30 and have an 8 month old daughter but today a grown up, I would say about 25 yrs old, called me aunty. And I still can’t get it out of my head. I have decided, the next time I meet her I am going to call her Aunty too.. and her mom is going to be ‘Maaji’ because she told her daughter ‘aunty ko bolo ghar ane’.

    I don’t understand this..If I find it awkward to call someone almost my age ‘aunty’ why don’t others feel the same? Do they think by calling me aunty they automatically become younger. When I told my husband he was laughing, I don’t see why!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Hi Sam, Men don’t understand the dynamics that women share and the games they play! Next time give it back. It is cathartic!

      Like

      1. yashaswini Avatar
        yashaswini

        Omg I was in my aerobics class today wen a teentold me .,.aunty pls move..am 29 ..I was hurt n shocked.., later I asked her abt her skool n knew she was abt 14…still it ruined my day…

        Like

      2. Rachna Avatar

        I understand Yashaswini! What can one do about such morons? Just forget about them and move on I guess!

        Like

  15. ruhi Avatar
    ruhi

    Hello Mam,
    I am from delhi.I handle my own garment shop with my father.i have completed my graduation & am only 22 yr old. Everytime it happens with me, when i work at my shop, some girls at about 28 age with kids or 1/2 yr younger then me or even those who are about my mums age calls me didi. Whenever they say like that i feel very hurt n disturbed & that thought does leave me. I want ur suggestion about this from u. Pls Mam help me.. I feel very hurt.
    Wit Lov

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Hi Ruhi, What can I say! I empathize with you. This is a real problem among Indians. Since this is your business, you can’t get downright rude with them. Perhaps you can laugh it off! Basically these women have a low self esteem, just ignore them. You will be happier that way.

      Like

      1. ruhi Avatar
        ruhi

        Yes Mam, am doing that only.. I have started ignoring them as u adviced n even feeling happy now. Thank u soo much Mam.. :)♥♥♥♥♥

        Like

      2. Rachna Avatar

        You’re welcome :).

        Like

  16. vethal Avatar

    we have this idiot at work who is 32 and is bald and ageing. but takes gr8 pleasure to call 2 of us who are in 37/38 age as aunties… as if he is very young

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Oh God! These are exactly the kind of idiots who need to be given back. Call him uncle or grandpa or something and he will keep quiet next time onwards.

      Like

  17. Kalpana Solsi Avatar

    I loved the serial ‘Hum Paanch and never missed it. and i loved the lady who kept saying ‘aunty mat kaho na.’ and the girls kept telling her to irritate her.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      I loved that serial a lot too, Kalpana :).

      Like

  18. Dagny Avatar

    The first time I was called aunty was by my landlord’s daughter. The girl was 15 and I was a mere 23. I was annoyed until my roommate cooled me down by asking if I would have been annoyed had the girl called me mausi or bua. I said no. She told me to think that aunty was just someone calling me mausi.

    But yes, when someone older than me, or as old, calls me aunty, I retaliate by calling them ‘beta’ very sweetly and treating them like an infant. Something tells me that they don’t much like it. Yup, I’m intuitive that way. You know, like psychic?

    It’s a cross. It’s a cross. Sigh.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      I must try the beta trick sometime. It sounds completely wicked and fun :).

      Like

  19. TTS Avatar

    In spite of being 32, I get called Didi by my friend’s kids. Their reason is simple – only married women are called aunty it seems :))

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      haha The thinking is so absurd any which way.

      Like

  20. Rekha Avatar

    Rachna, you got it at 26 years of age. I got it at 13 when a colleague of my Dad called me aunty while he was asking directions to my house. Yes, he didn’t know that it was my house he was looking for and I was really tall for my age. But yes, many people do it deliberately to feel young. I just don’t give them a damn care. Like they say, ” hone do bechare/bechari ko khush, mere abba ka kya jaata hai” 😛 😀

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Wow, now that was truly weird :). Yes, most times I don’t care. But the smart asses I like to put in their place! Thanks for reading, Rekha!

      Like

  21. Naba Avatar

    A few years older then didi, bhaiya or I think just call by name! Aunty, uncle are when we belong to different generations.. !

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      I guess this is a conundrum, really! I also believe it is safer to call people didi or just by name instead of launching into aunty at the drop of a hat.

      Like

  22. Kirtee Avatar
    Kirtee

    My son’s friends call me by my first name, and believe me that was as much of a rude shock as being addressed as “aunty”. In fact we had a discussion among the Indian parents in our class as to what the kids should call us 🙂 lol … The kids of our personal friends still call me the cursed “aunty”!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Yes, Kirtee! I can imagine. I guess I felt it the first time when I called my boss by his name. But now I am used to addressing older people by their first name. At the same time, a college kid calling a young woman with a toddler aunty is so weird :).

      Like

  23. Rajlakshmi Avatar

    Hahaha story of my life n my hubby would deliberately make everyone call meaunty 😀

    Like

  24. Ashutosh Avatar
    Ashutosh

    Hello Rachanaji

    Sorry, i am commenting on the wrong post ..I just read some article of your’s ( Aunty mat kaho naa). And yes, I agree with you 100 percent. Indian people have no brains and call anyone as anything. I am only 26 and have not had too many adults calling me uncle or aunty, but my parents ( especially my 54 year old mother) gets called as Aunty by ladies who are 45-50..its abosuletly ridiculous. I have even seen a lot of my friends who are same age or younger or older than me by 2-4 years call someone 5-6 years older than them as uncle???? I am 26, but I would never call a 36 year old as uncle or aunty…what the hell is this all about in india>?? heck my 84 year old grandmother is called as ‘dadi’ by people my parent’s age??

    I mean why cannot we just call people as Sir or Ma’am ?? or simply use the term JI ( which is also pretty acceptable) We are the laughing stock in the west, in the west once you are 16-17…you stop this uncle aunty thing ( Guess what, here in the United States, people who are 20 will not call some stranger who is 70 as grandpa….they will either call him Sir or if they know that person, they will call him by first name!! ( yes first name to a person 50 years older than them)

    I really think someone should make a awareness movie on this ( Social ettiquates) on how to address people in India…I hope this Aunty Uncle thing dies out. Guess what I am 26 now and and when I will be 40, I would be hate to be called as Uncle by someone with 2 kids and who is probably 5-10 years older than me..
    Thanks for the article Rachanaji…aapne ek bahut gehra topic pe light daala hain…. You are absolutely right….I also like your attitude of calling everyone you know regardless of their age by their first name…God bless you 🙂

    Keep rocking 🙂

    Like

  25. Yohan Avatar
    Yohan

    yes, I agree as well …Though I have not yet reached the ‘adults calling you uncle ‘ stage, I feel angry when someone who is probably few years younger than my mom call them as Aunty ( My mom has fought with some of them calling them uncle and aunty in return).

    I also get annoyed when I see any people of (any age- younger, same age, few years older )calling anyone as uncle and aunty…

    i dread to see the day when a 35 year old woman/man will call a 12 year old as uncle/aunty ( believe me, that is also possible). I mean don’t these people know how old they are before they call someone by this title?? in the west, no one even calls another person as aunty ( even if that person is much older than you)- It is really childish …

    My last take on this is

    You gave the example of the newspaper waala . Let him call any person as uncle or Aunty, uske Uncle ya aunty bolne se saamne waala aadmi uska uncle ya aunty NAHI banega..NA SAAMNE WAALE ki AGE BADEGI NA USKA PAAGAL NEWS PAPER WAALE KI AGE KAM HOGI!!!! HE IS IN A DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN AGE- THat’s it!!!!

    It is sad that India is such an ageist society…hope it changes very fast.

    Thanks for the post . We need more professional people like you in India

    Like

  26. Poorani Avatar
    Poorani

    I was attending french classes when 2 college girls studying with me kept calling me aunty. Later I realised they did not address me with any term in front of other students. But after classes they called me aunty. The horror was when they saw my mother and called her aunty too! I was 26 then and it was worrisome.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      This seems to be a menace in our society.

      Like

  27. Mj Avatar
    Mj

    I’m so frustrated because I get called aunty a lot by kids that are under 10, I don’t even know if your blog is still active but I’m just going to rant anyway lol. I’m 20 and about 5’7 so I guess for kids height and age are directly proportional. It still irritates me plus I do live in a city where girls get married soon but that is no excuse to refer to a 20 year old girl as an aunty! I’m not even fat for goodness sake. If I was to have a 10 year old kid right now (that would mean I’d be pregnant at 10, so bizarre) then that would be acceptable but this is just getting on my nerves. It stresses me out. I do look 20 for sure but seriously, come on!

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Mj, don’t get so stressed. Kids below 10 have no clue about age gaps etc. They call all older girls/women aunty. Just ignore or laugh it off. But if it is women who do it knowingly give it back. This is a bane of our country. Take care.

      Like

  28. Lyra Avatar
    Lyra

    Hi Rachna….

             Though I agree with your points wholeheartedly, there is one concept I would like to express here...You seem to be of the opinion that it's okay for kids to call adults uncle or aunty. But do you think anyone is going to stop using these words once they grow up? Instead, when these kids grow into teenagers they start referring to women as sexy aunty, mallu/Gujju/ Panju aunties etc, which explain the prevalence of aunty porn in India. So, if you make a compromise and say that kids can call adults (I mean those who are not their aunts) aunts/uncles, this menace certainly will not go out of our country anytime soon! On the contrary, when an actual child calls a person aunty/uncle he/she might be doing it out of learned behavior! But then after some time, these terms become coloured    (this can happen as early as 12 or 13) and just another way to judge other humans. For example, a 13 year old boys in my building complex refers to women maids as "auntie log" in a tone that says a lot of things, none which have anything to do with actual respect!!!
    

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Valid point, Lyra! Well we can ask our kids not to call elders uncle and aunty but then our friends may take offense at being called by their first name. With my kids, I ask them to call my friends by their first name if I know that they will be okay with it.

      Like

  29. Simmi Avatar
    Simmi

    Hi Rachna,
    I am 17 and have studied in London for a period of time and am therefore quite used to calling people of any age by their first names. And plus in the English language, you can obviously still carry on a convo without addressing them with any moniker.
    When we moved to India recently, I was mighty pissed when people started calling my mum aunty and poor mum, she can’t even retaliate.
    Anyway I reckon it’s a very recent thing though. I love watching old Hindi films and in those I have seldom seen people addressing each other in that way.
    Plus these misguided sanskars are to blame IMO.
    Btw you are spunky, Rachna and don’t let anyone call you anything else.

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Thank you, Simmi! Nice having you here and sharing your experiences!

      Like

  30. Sandesh Avatar
    Sandesh

    Rachu Didi 🙂

    This is a great great article. I hope it goes viral and more and more people read it.
    Fuck this Uncle Aunty culture . We should put a total stop to it.

    I am 27 now and live aborad. So luckily for me I have not been a Shikaar of this uncle aunty thing.

    I like that show ‘ Comedy Nights with Kapil’ where he keeps caling all people in the audience as Sir and Ma’am. I am sure that will have some degree of impact on people and they would also call Sir and Madam instead of Uncle and Aunty while addressing strangers.

    Didi, Bhai, Bhaisaahab, Bhaiyya, Bhabhi , Sir , Madam/Ma’am, Memsaahaab , Saahab are all much better ( even though very formal) ways of addressing strangers- The Uncle and Aunty thing is just sick
    At 27 I find it very silly to call anyone under 40 as ‘Uncle’ or ‘Aunty’ and I would also find it very offensive if someone over the age of 13 would call me Uncle- Anyone between 40-45 shall be addressed as Sir and Ma’am by me- above 45 could be described as Uncle/Sir depending on how they look and above 50 – I am comfortable calling them as Uncle

    as someone posted here- there should be a social awareness campaign on this subject.Actually the best thing that should be done is ‘-We should get rid of this whole uncle aunty crap- like how such a system does not exist in the west at all. I dream to see in the next 25 years ( when I and you really become Uncle and Aunty)- people calling us as ‘Sir’ or Madam’ instead of Uncle and aunty- how cool will that be??

    God bless you dear sweet rachu didi 🙂

    Very nice article- why are there not more people like you??

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Thank you, Sandesh, for your detailed comment. What can I say? I agree with you. 🙂

      Like

  31. Harsha Kamath Avatar
    Harsha Kamath

    Pyaari Rachna 🙂

    Another topic that actually was lingering on my mind. I cannot believe you write all things which think- Parallel Universe?? hmm… lol

    1) In my Observation, most of these adults ( 18+) who keep throwing the Aunty/Uncle tag to people a few years ( <15) older than them are uneducated/not properly educated people like paanwaala, paperwaala, Baniyas ( yeah those marwari baniyas( and their wives who sit in the stores) are the worst, smug, rude , I don't give a shit types). I don't know if this Uncle Aunty thing is done by more educated people- Please correct me if I am wrong.

    2) Though easier said than done, it is best left to ignore such things- The best approach is to correct the idiot who does this Uncle Aunty thing on the spot and then go about our normal lives- them saying Uncle or Aunty does not make you an aunty at all- unfortunately their age is not going to reduce by throwing Uncle and Aunty at other people who are few years older than them. Most probably such people are living like losers in complete denial about their own age. Once Navjyot singh Sidhu had said ' Kya sooraj ko yeh pramaan ( prove in english) karne ki zaroorat hain ki usme tej ( sunlight) hain??' which means truth can never be hidden or concealed – A person doing this uncle aunty type dirty tricks cannot run away from the truth of their own age no matter how hard they they try
    Call me silly, but after I turned 20, I hate to call anyone uncle or aunty-I used 2 feel too old and silly to call someone as Uncle- Aunty ( unless they were senior citizens) once I became an adult- such things are for kids to be honest.The best way of making someone your own, endearing them is by calling them by their first name. Nothing pleases a person more than the fact people know his name and call him by it ( which is why he was named at his birth in the first place) That is just my opinion
    3) Lastly, this is coming from my Mom and dad ( who are much more experienced)- At the end of the life , such things hardly matter- yes dear its true, one fine day we will not even give a SHIT about such things because they are so trivial in the larger scope of life. It becomes another one in the list of the trivial things/part of life such as someone taunting you about your son/daughter's less grade in school, someone passing comments at you about putting on weight, someone gossiping about your husband, someone purposely showing off to make you feel inferior etc etc-as they say Kuch toh log kahenge- logon ka kaam hain kehna 🙂 My hubby always said ' we live in a gutter full of dirt ( surroundings)- it is for us to see the Lotus ( positives) and live with it.

    Thanks Rachna for the great article. Please share your insight on my thoughts

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Thanks, Harsha. I can see that this topic touches a raw nerve with most of us as you can see from the comments. No, I am fine now with being called aunty even by adult children. 😀 But the first time it had happened was a rude shock. Now I wouldn’t even mind if someone calls me Amma. It is quite common in the South (I live in Bangalore) to address women as Amma. Yes, I prefer to call people by their names too. It is way nicer and I see that women feel so much better when this is done. No one likes being called aunty and uncle unless they are senior citizens. I agree with what you say. Just retort and move on. No point in stewing over it.

      Like

  32. ASHUTOSH H Avatar
    ASHUTOSH H

    hahaha…

    you people are fretting about some idiots calling aunty and uncle.I will give you my story that will blow the bonkers off anyone who is reading this

    I am in my 20s right now ( 27) to be precise. About 13 years ago, as a kid in 9th standard at the age of 14, a doodhwaala bhaiyya who was actually an uncle to me ( yes he was in his late 30s to early 40s, not sure how old but he was easily atleast 35 ( I am being kind here when I say 35) and had 3 children one of my age and remaining two younger by 4 and 7 years respectively used to call me Uncle . Can anything be more stupid than that.

    a 14 year old Kid being called as a uncle by an actual Uncle who has 3 kids aged 14, 10 and 7. Additionally it goes without saying that his 3 kids would also call me uncle. It hardly offended me then as I had no concept of what ‘ Ageing’ was – ( probably I still don’t know what actual ‘ageing’ is since I am still in my 20s ). My Mom took an objection to this and told the doodhwaala uncle to stop this saying ‘ voh toh tumhare bacchon ke umar ka hain’ and instructed me to call me ‘ dadaji’ and his wife as ‘naniji’ . I did that and in 3 days he switched to beta from uncle rofl hahaha. His kids also stopped calling me ‘ Uncle’

    and I am not the only one. Later on in my college days and all, I have spoken to sandwhichwaalas, barber shop people who were 20ish ( 18-21) and would tell me- bhai tum kya baat kar rahe ho- yahan 2 bacchon ki mom hume Uncle keh kar pukaarti hain- kya kar sakte hain? So Imagine guys, even Teenagers get called as Uncle in our country by people double their age. It is one of the most irritating aspect of our country and I don’t know when it will change

    Thank you for this article. Just superb article and superb kind author 🙂

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      hahah Ashutosh. People in our country take the cake in being so uncultured. Good for you, I say about teaching them the lesson. 🙂 Happy that you connected with the post.

      Like

  33. ASHUTOSH H Avatar
    ASHUTOSH H

    *call him dadaji
    line mistake

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Got that! 🙂

      Like

  34. […] Aunty Who? This post was penned in December 2012. It continues to strike a chord with people across the board who have experienced the horror of being called ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle’ while being still young (in their eyes). […]

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  35. Jayant Avatar
    Jayant

    Looks like a lot of people have been hurt by the A and U bombs.And I don’t blame them. No one likes to be called as Uncle and Aunty…That is why our country will never be a first world one. New buildings might come, flyovers might be built, mcdonalds and burger kings might come, people will be all tech savy….but the mentality is the same narrow minded one. In fact , it has gotten worse over the years. When I was a kid in the late 70s and 80s…I did not see this ‘Aunty’ thing that often , it has become more prevelant. It cringes me to see kids of the age 10-13 ( maybe even older)call bhelpuriwaalas, doodhwaalas who are in their late teens or early 20s atmost as ‘UNCLE’. I am like ‘ what the heck….how can someone so young be an uncle?? who the hell am I then?? A dinosour??’
    Our country has zero social etiquette. To all people frowning here,don’t feel sad., you are not the only ones who are being attacked by the A and U bombs, a lot of people are going through this. Lets face it guys, it is a part of life and there is nothing we can do about it, don’t fret too much about some random idiots uttering nonsense, life is much better than that. I don’t understand the point of some people who try to make themselves feel young by calling another person as ‘Aunty’. How is that even going to help them? Reality will never change. The Person will not become younger by calling someone else as ‘Aunty’,

    I have not even understood the concept of ‘OLD’ in India. I remember I had once seen and heard my 23 year old ( YEAH 23) relative call a 27 year old young woman as a BUNTY ( BABE +Aunty)
    since when did 27 become aunty I don’t know, maybe it is aunty for kids, but for a 23 year old to address a 27 year old as an aunty of some sort….WHACK!!!

    Like

  36. Jayant Avatar
    Jayant

    Additionally

    Calling a person by his first name is not at all disrespectful. On the contrary, a person loves being called by his first name. If someone is younger than me, he does not have to call me an’ Uncle’ to point that out to me. I can assure you that I will make that person comfortable and treat him or her as a younger brother or sister without him having the need to call me an Uncle .

    I have been called as an Uncle at the age of 40 by people of the age 20, 25, 28, 32,35, 40,45 and so on. One might think I am insecure because of the long posts I have written, But I am not, I have not fought back anyone till now and will not either because I know these things like age are not in our control, God is great and his way of justice is TIME. The fast moving weapon which will make EVERYONE OLD one day. One day we in our 40s will be gone ( in future I mean after 35-40 years hopefully) and it will be all younger lots of people today who will be facing the same music 🙂 🙂

    Ending Note- Death is a beautiful thing indeed, no more taxes, no more gaining weight, no need to go to gym, no more work,no moreworry about the state of affairs in our country , no more getting old and no need to hear the A and U bombs as well 😀 😀

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Thank you, Jayant, for your detailed comments. You have said it all. 😀

      Like

  37. ruhi Avatar
    ruhi

    Yes… I am 24 years old… recently married… I visited someone’s house… they lady of that house called her daughter who is in collegea nd told he meet aunty she stays near by… I wanna kill that lady…
    And I think she is doing it deliberately because her daughter didn’t call me aunty… she didn’t address me by any adjective… but yes… that women called me yesterday and said again… “mai kab se keh rahi hu apni beti ko ki ye book aunty ko de aao… pass me hi rehti hain…” sadistic people I must say…
    I have made it a point that I won’t ever teach my kids calling someone uncle/aunty bhaiya bhabhi masi bus etc are better…

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Stupid woman. Maybe, you should just tell her to the face.

      Like

      1. ruhi Avatar
        ruhi

        True I will! 😦

        Like

  38. Niharika Avatar
    Niharika

    Ha ha Rachna .This post reminds me of my auntie days when I was barely 22 little plump and a little boy from neighborhood building called me ‘auntie ‘for first time that day i felt dram upset .Mockingly I narrated this incident to her on my way back home from tutions .She laughed at me and understood my situation. Saying Chood na yaar she narrated her story which was similar to my story that made us both laugh aloud ki one passer by uncle couldn’t concentrate on his work which he was doing while walking .From that day even if any body half of age called ‘Auntie’ instead of ‘Didi’ .I am ok with it 🙂 As we are living Indian society were certain protocol is observed that which can’t that easily .

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      Yep, I have made peace with all the aunties that are tossed at me now, but that first time had jolted me. 🙂

      Like

  39. deep Avatar
    deep

    Dhd

    Like

  40. Gunja gupta Avatar
    Gunja gupta

    I newly shifted in the society…..m shocked m not in the list of young buddies because I have a kid….ohh common m just 24… Here every girl called me ,,,,n after hearing that I don’t want to go into their surrounding……it’s feels very rude what to do……my old society buddies called me bhabi or didi…m going mad here

    Like

  41. Alka Avatar
    Alka

    Hi

    I love this article and discussion. I am 37 and still not married however from the past few years i am being addresssed as aunty not by kids but by teenagers and older, i used to blame it perhaps on my looks as i have put a lot of weight oflate and i wear spects however i feel we Indians just know how to ape the west in dressing and food and lifestyle to some extent but dont take their respect view for individuality too seriusly.

    A girl wearing microminis in no way can be called hep and a girl with a salwar kkameez and plait called a behenji. these are just foolish reactions. I hate being called aunty but i feel i dont have enough guts to give it back. i felt asssured that there are people who feel the same. Madam is the best and the safest way to address ladies be it any age or body type and that should be put to practise than AUNTY , thanx for ur thoughts evryone gud luck!!!!!

    Like

  42. Seeya Avatar

    This “A” word is like a default word once you are married. And true, many older woman call younger ones aunty to hide their age. Of course it is irritating.

    Like

  43. Anu Avatar

    I am 33 & I have 2 kids of age 6 & 3. I have friends who are older than 24 years. So, what should I expect my kids to call them as? Didi?
    I don’t accept this logic… Difference between me & my colleagues might be around 5 to 7 years… I cannot expect my kids to call them Akka or didi right?

    Like

    1. Jenny Avatar
      Jenny

      Of course! Who has kids at 25 these days? By that logic, our grannies used to have kids by 16 so when we were 16, we should have been called Aunty? Come on , now, don’t be jealous. They don’t qualify to be called aunties.. Even u know that.

      Like

  44. Jenny Avatar
    Jenny

    My-my! So. many responses. Now, let me tell u Aunty is a type. It’s not an age related thing. No one calls sunny Leone Aunty even though she’s married and is 34. Not even nargis fakhri. Or chitrangada Singh. Well, there are two types of women- young and old. How do u classify them?
    Young- slim, fashionable, youthful face.
    Old- fat, bad clothes, sagging face and breasts.
    You see? My friend who is 25 gets called Aunty all the time. Why? She has had a baby and now she weighs 80 kgs. She wears Kurtis or suits and ties her hair in a bun. Her breasts are saggy and she won’t even wear a push up. No wonder, she is called an Aunty. Now, my another friend who’s 33 never gets called Aunty.she’s slim, no sagging cheeks or breasts, wears smart Kurtis and tops. Never in my life have I seen anyone call her Aunty. Aunty is more of how u maintain urself. Who calls Miranda Kerr Aunty 🙂

    Like

    1. Rachna Avatar

      That is stereotyping at its worst, Jenny. You really have no clue before you do all that generalization.

      Like

      1. thinker Avatar
        thinker

        i agree with jenny…age factor toh hai lekin kayi baar aap khud ko duniya k samne kaise present karte ho ispe bhi nirbhar karta hai ki woh apko aunty/uncle kahenge ya didi/bhaiya 😦 lekin duniya k liye khud ko badlna bhi thik nahi lagta …. mere khayal se fashion se jyada comfort jaruri hai…

        Like

  45. jay Avatar
    jay

    Actually I think it is the parents who are guilty of this crime.
    When I used to be in my late 20s ( which is fairly young), I used to visit my coworkers home ( who were in this f**kin late 40s) and they had teensaged kids, like 16 and 13 year olds ..some times even 19-20 year old
    They would say
    Hi Ravi , say HI TO UNCLE…It used to piss me off,….once someone calls you Uncle , it sticks on and everyone starts calling you uncle.
    The funny part is I am 41 now and those kids are now in their late 20s,and even 30s and they still call me ‘Uncle’……and it goes without saying that their friends of same age call me uncle…how can a 32 year old call a 41 year old as an uncle?

    Parents teach kids such pathetic practices and it just moves on to next generation. The semi Literate crowds in India ( Shopkeepers, Rickshaw drivers ) take it to a whole new level.
    I hate to break the news India will always be a third world nation- regardless of the development happening ( or not) because the mentality of the people here is the most cheap and narrow!, mentality wise we will always be a third world…this whole practice of calling people Uncle, Aunty, XYZ Sir, XYZ Ma’am blah blah ONLy After knowing your age or seeing you are married is a form of an age discrimination or even a martial status discrimination. Unfortunately most people say ‘ It is a form of respect’, To hell with your respect if it makes me uncomfortable, I don’t believe it is respect, it is just the way people say ‘ hey oldiie’ in India.

    Like

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I’m Rachna

Welcome to Rachna says, my first abode on the internet where I share snippets of my mundane life, as I navigate empty nest with my husband. You can also get my recipes at my food blog, Rachna cooks.

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