This post was published in DNA newspaper on 2nd April 2011. Here is the link:A young grandmother and her two granddaughters
This 20-year-old girl became the mother of her 2nd daughter yesterday. Just studied till primary school, she was married off at 17 as is the norm in her family. Though her family lives in Bangalore, they belong to a village in Gulbarga. Her mother is a grand mom, and she is just about my age, in her late 30s! Though, she is not sure exactly how old she is. She is one among many daughters and one son in her family, and who remembers the birth dates of daughters? This young lady is my maid’s daughter. I have seen her family life unfold from close quarters. Her mother has been working in my house since 5 years. She is an extremely honest, loving and hardworking lady. She just adores her daughter and her grand kid (now 2).
She told me how she had to take a lot of money on loan to get her daughter married off. Every time her daughter was pregnant, she was sent home for her delivery. All the expenses were borne by this lady, and that meant more loans. She loves her daughter deeply and tries to send gifts to her daughter and her in-laws family every time some one goes to her village. I used to tell her that she must not do that, but she says that I don’t understand because this is a social custom she is expected to follow. I was encouraging her daughter not to have more than 2 kids, as it would be difficult to bring them up. She was keen, but she said her mother-in-law will not allow her to take the decision till she had a boy. Sadly for her, she had one more daughter yesterday. And, who am I to tell her? I have two sons, and my social and economic situation is drastically different from her own.
I remember explaining to my maid’s daughter how it is important to educate a girl or a boy. But, in her village, she says there is no decent school. Her husband stays someplace else where he is employed though he is a good man she says. And she lives with her in-laws. She does tough work in the farmland. She was planning on leaving her 2-year-old daughter with her own mother so that at least she could get educated in Bangalore. My words of advise sounded so empty to her because what do I know of her deprivations and her social compulsions. In this situation, can we hold it against her for not wanting to have a girl child though she loves her daughter dearly. I can only imagine the pointed fingers of accusation she will face now for giving birth to yet another girl. My maid is struggling to educate her youngest son at my behest. I am also helping her in every way possible to ensure that at least one person in the family can hold a job tomorrow and lift the status of the entire family.
Can we imagine the plight of and help these people who are struggling to have a decent existence on a daily basis? As Karnataka falls down in growth and development parameters, water scarcity and drought hits us; there is maladministration all around, police, judiciary and media spar with each other, and politicians do not bother about any of this, it is this section of society that is crying out for some respite from the rising prices, from the high cost of living and from a dreary existence? Can social change come about without economic prosperity and education? How will economic prosperity for all be achieved with this kind of corruption and lack of governance? What should we the concerned citizens do that can bring about a real change?
I want each one of us to consider these questions, as we celebrate Ugadi (New Year) today.
Rachna says 
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