Parenting is so complex, any which way. But all of us educated types have brought in huge doses of egos in our methods. What I mean to say is that because I am well educated and well read, I might not be so open to receiving advice about my parenting methods. Because, it is a reflection on me and my children. So, I might get defensive if someone points something out to me. This is what I see around me most often. Compare that to my mom’s time when they actually listened to and did something their elders said was good. They were more receptive to ideas.
Today, unless we see for ourselves, we do not wish to embark upon a path. I used to be rebellious in so many ways, but now I realize how important it is to benefit from other’s experiences. I have a friend, with whom I share a lot of personal stuff (very few friends who actually belong to this category). When she tells me her experiences with her sons who are older, that gives me a lot of insight. I, unfortunately cannot turn to my mom for advice, but my mom-in-law fills in aptly. She is a person I trust as much as my dad to offer me good advice. And, she has brought up 3 kids; that surely counts for something. I also read up about something if confused. I believe in seeking help, listening to others, and then using my judgement.
Take for example — A simple issue of disciplining children. It is just so confusing to take a measured path. Discipline a child more, and he ends up becoming dependent, fearful and way too docile — always seeking your endorsement. Discipline them too less and they become way too brash and spoilt, unable to use their best judgement. As parents, we wish our kids to respect us and treat us as friends as well and to turn out to be wholesome individuals. But, it is so much more difficult to draw that fine line of being too friendly or too strict. This is life, and things don’t always play out the way they write in parenting books.
My opinion for other parents — seek advice, your intentions are the best for your children but do not feel that you are the only one who knows everything. I have realized that the experiences of others have enriched my own dealings in my relationships and parenting. I learn so much from my blogger friends who I might not meet face to face. But, perspectives are always so fascinating. That and communication are really the key to most relationships including that of being a parent.
Disclaimer: These are strictly my views. They are absolutely not aimed at any particular individual/individuals.
P.S. Written communication is fraught with the danger of being misunderstood, hence the inclusion of disclaimers, of late, in my posts. 🙂
Rachna says 
Leave a reply to sm Cancel reply