Rachna says

The husband and I recently clocked 25 years of marriage, and suddenly everyone around us went, “Whoa, that’s huge!” And yes, it really is. Mostly because I feel incredibly grateful. Grateful for the years, the memories, the chaos, the calm, the losses, the wins and for having someone to share life, dreams, worries, victories and very ordinary Tuesdays with.

Staying with one person through kids, careers, changing bodies, perimenopause then menopause, changing minds and changing seasons? Let’s just say it has been one wild roller-coaster ride.

These days, the idea of love as shown in movies makes me laugh out loud. All those slow-motion walks and perfect moments? Cute, but not real. And social media? Those glossy Instagram squares are just slices of life, not the whole picture.

No couple is lovey-dovey 24/7. Love doesn’t stay the same; it evolves. It shifts shape. You start relying on each other in quiet, practical ways. There is deep comfort in simply being together, doing your own thing, sharing silence and existing in the same space without needing to perform.

Over the years, our tastes and passions have changed too. I’m definitely not the 26-year-old who got married, and neither is he. Watching each other grow, sometimes together, sometimes separately, has been one of the most beautiful parts of this journey. Real comfort in marriage comes from allowing each other that freedom: to explore, to change, to choose, without guilt or fear of offending the other.

Case in point: my husband is a morning person, bright-eyed, chirpy, and ready to conquer the world at sunrise. I, on the other hand, need time. Silence. Possibly coffee and breakfast. He works out in the morning. I prefer evenings. He loves watching reels without muting them. I give him dirty looks and grunts. 😀 I have gone from expecting him to always tag along to happily doing things on my own.

And I love it. I can stay home for days and be perfectly content. He, meanwhile, has to step out every single day. It took us a while to learn how to live with, and respect, these differences.

With time came confidence. Confidence to fully be ourselves, while still indulging each other. The support he gives me is something I value deeply. I have always been independent, opinionated and unafraid to speak my mind. It takes a secure, confident man to truly appreciate that. I challenge his views; he challenges mine. Mundane? Never. We don’t mollycoddle each other, and that works for us. We have always aimed for an equitable partnership, and I hope our kids picked up on that.

In case you felt everything was too hunky dory; let us be clear – we disagree. Oh, all the time. Bickering is practically a sport in our house 😄. But we always find our way back to each other. Our generation grew up understanding adjustment, not erasing ourselves, but adapting, accommodating and listening. We don’t dismiss each other’s feelings. We try to make space for them even if we sometimes can not comprehend them fully. That pulls us back from the brink, every single time.

We have had our fair share of fights and upheavals, along with countless beautiful moments and deep intimacy. We have enriched each other’s lives in ways we never imagined. I introduced him to good food, fitness, finer things and a bit of etiquette 😉. I am hoping to still get him to reduce his hoarding habit and align with my aesthetic sense. 🙂 Work in progress, I guess.

He opened my world to travel, gardening, intricacies of perfumes and the joy of DIY. He brings the fun and madness to my seriousness and gravitas. Together, we are very much yin and yang.

We are different enough to keep things interesting, yet aligned on the values that truly matter: family, commitment and relationships. And honestly, I will never stop wondering how we managed to raise two kids and Coco. Parenting gave us our maximum number of disagreements, but somehow, we powered through.

Twenty-five years later, here we are. Still learning. Still growing. Still choosing each other. And that, I think, is the real magic. ❤️