It feels surreal, doesn’t it? Despite having lived through bomb blasts, riots and even wars, somehow my life wasn’t touched in this manner for such a long duration. But this crazy virus has turned all our lives upside down. No not upside down, it has actually changed our perspective on life.
The Uncertainty
I oscillate between very low periods and anxieties to hope that the normal as was known before will be back. Initially, when I saw the cases rise globally and death tallies go up crazily, it sent me in panic mode. So many what ifs went through my mind.
Will we live through this? Then I thought of all the positives that I have healthwise to console myself that maybe I can fight this virus in case I get infected. You know, crazy thoughts!
Then I slowly started cutting down on the online news. I hardly spend any time on Twitter and Facebook these days and when I do I try to stay away from news and opinions of doom. There is enough restlessness in us anyway. We don’t need the hyper anger on social media too.
Plans in limbo
2 trips have been called off. Yes, who knew vacation plans would be crushed this mercilessly. My older boy could not even complete his Board exams as they were called off in a rush. The younger boy missed a few papers, and this has to be his annual exams ever.
Suddenly we are all at home, and instead of being joyful we are anxious. We also had some other major plans for April. Two big decisions that have now been put on hold. It’s nerve wracking.
Family at home
There is someone with a real crazy sense of humour up there. So most of us who always complained about not having enough time because well commute, work etc. Now everyone is home.
Some of us could not work out due to lack of time, and now we can’t due to anxiety. In the first week of lockdown, I stopped working out which is sort of rare for me. But now I have pulled myself up together and try to at least get a walk in daily (with social distancing).
I think every person in the family is struggling to an extent. House work has grown manifolds. Our helps, who really are our lifelines, have not been coming these past days, and it takes a toll. My swollen, dry, peeling hands are witness to it.
Even when everyone does something, the chores feel unending and mundane. The kids have been a huge help in this time taking on the load as well as my moods pretty well.
For once in their lives, I have no screen time or other limits set for the kids. For the husband and I to work peacefully, it is important that they do what they like. So yes, it’s okay to give your children more leeway right now. These are unprecedented times, not a joyride.
I have been encouraging the kids to call their friends more often. We are all doing more video calls because I miss seeing people. That when I was never a very party goer or socializer kind of person.
Our work timelines have changed too. The husband has meetings and calls at all hours. I don’t start working till mid-day because that is as long as it takes to finish the chores and start on lunch. Have you noticed how working from home is almost implying no switching off?
We are all so much more cranky. I know I get really irritable and to not have space from the other members is driving us nuts. I think we all work as a family if we get good enough time gaps when we don’t see each other and also have other things to do. Well, that option is currently not available. I can’t imagine how people with abusive marriages and mental health issues are coping right now.
Cooking
Yes, I love cooking but I wonder if I would continue to love it after this lockdown. There is no respite of eating out, ordering in and simple lunches made from leftovers.
It has become such a pain to plan meals with limited supplies and to cook really large quantities so as to avoid cooking all through the day. There are days when I want to scream or even punch someone. And I know a lot of women and men who are similarly placed.
I wonder
Will we really go back to the normal of eating out in a carefree manner, of hugging people, of not moving far away when we see a stranger approach and of looking forward to working from home?
I mean, the world seems so uncertain now. We are seeing cases increase in India, and I am praying that we don’t see an exponential rise because that would be catastrophic. I pray for all the seniors, my father, my mother-in-law and everyone’s parents to pull through this tough time.
It is not easy but in this circle of life, I am grateful for family, for providers who are working hard so that we have groceries, fruits and veggies, milk and essentials, for our healthcare professionals, for our governments, for a roof over my head, for Netflix, Prime and Hotstar, for friends who care and a mind that says – This too shall pass!
How are you guys coping? Also do let me know if I can help in any way. We can do a video call and fool around if nothing else. 🙂
Rachna says 
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