Mom needs to be at home

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Rachna

November 13, 2009

I can see all the feminists baring their fangs at me for the above statement. 🙂 Trust me I am as modern, ambitious and go-getter as they come. This wisdom has dawned on me since I have had my two sons. To give a little background, I had my own professional degree (MBA) and a satisfactory career in Marketing till I got married. My husband always did support my decision to work and did so during my frequent forays into various jobs which I felt would allow me the freedom to work and at the same time give me the free time to manage home and kids. I tried Medical Transcription with their carrot of work-from-home option at a later stage. They kept turning this later stage into even more late and finally I felt that I had had enough of leaving my little son who refused to sleep at night despite hubby’s best efforts, crying for mum.

My next foray was into Teaching. Thinking that I was in the same school with Sid was going to be easy besides I would be back home by 4.30 in the evening, giving me time for the household chores. I was so wrong. I was swamped by work, carrying work home, checking books, correcting and framing papers. Anyone who thinks teaching is easy has to try it once. Besides, I had to drag sometimes sick Sid to school because I could not take an off. Teaching was slogging, I was underpaid and overworked. My life was extremely rushed and the parenting was suffering for sure. Since I had Gautam, I’ve been very firm that I would give him all the time as I had given Sid. I know my own career has been placed on the backburner but that is totally my choice.

Just a week back, I read in the papers that a nanny hired through one of the agencies in the home of a working couple at Bangalore was giving out their infant son on lease to beggars for Rs. 100 everyday. Imagine the shock we went through. This poor infant was drugged and handed over to beggars to be carted around in the streets. I felt really relieved that not even once have I ever left my child unsupervised with any maid or nanny. Often, we women are not able to monetarily measure our contribution at home and feel disappointed. But in the interest of our children, their safety and wellbeing from bad company, overload of information, child predators etc. it is really crucial that one parent has the time to communicate and stay connected with the child in order to sense if there is any problem. No matter what any working mother says these responsibilities at home and kids do get neglected because after all she is a human being too with the same 24 hours at her disposal. They have to be incredibly lucky to have a supportive mom-in-law or mom to look after their kids while at work.

So now I do freelance writing when I find work strictly doing it for very few hours daily. After all, all the money in the world cannot give the kind of time and caring which I can provide to my husband and my two kids. Kudos to all the moms in the world for making the right choice for their family.

7 responses to “Mom needs to be at home”

Bhupesh

November 13, 2009

Rachna:) I can understand the situation through which you are going, as we are on the same boat.We were blessed with a boy 4 months bac who was preterm born at 6 and half month and was in NICU for 20 days but now he is doing fine. Initially my mom and my MIL came to stay with us but now as wifey is planning to join office after 5 month ML things are a bit scaryOne good thing with us that our company have their own creche in the premises and besides she will have 2 hr flexitiming for a year and if she wants she can work as part time. Weplanned for a nonny but after seeing that banglore incident decided not to get one.We have to take him to the creche on 2nd Dec for 1st time. Lets see how things materialize….Nice writeup there Bhupesh

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Rachna

November 13, 2009

Well, all the best to you and your wife. I hope there is someone at home to fall back upon for those rainy days. You are lucky to have a creche in your company’s premises. It is a rarity these days. It will be difficult initially but more so once your son starts school. I don’t want to scare you off :). I think with your active support, your wife can manage it.

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wise donkey

November 14, 2009

i don’t see why feminists should be mad at you..ideally each family should decide for themselves..and the husband and wife should have equal rights to stay at home, (after the child is above 1)..

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Rachna

November 16, 2009

@ wise donkey – Ideally, yes but things are not that ideal, are they? Yes, a husband and a wife have equal rights to be at home but what is more socially acceptable and happens most often is that the wife takes a break or a backseat to look after the kids and frankly I feel that it is the right way.

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Bhagyashree

February 8, 2010

I felt as if I was reading my own thoughts. I too have put my career on a side, just bcoz i want to be at home watching my kid grow and loving itbut sometimes do think that did i do the right thing, esp. when I c my friends climbing the corporate ladder

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Rachna

February 8, 2010

@Bhagyashree Thanks for visiting my blog. You are right, I also feel the same way when I see my own batchmates climbing up the corporate ladder. But then, the pragmatist in me kicks in.I have restarted my career, albeit, along different lines now. And, you never know, I might do much better than others doing my own thing. So, keep the faith, and do what your heart says is right. There will come a time when you will be able to do some gainful work as well.

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bbsearchingself

April 11, 2011

Hey I read this and commented too. 🙂 Ya I know, am getting old.I still hold the same views but Rachna with cost of living going higher with each successive day, very often a woman has to compromise isnt it?

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I’m Rachna

Welcome to Rachna says, my first abode on the internet where I share snippets of my mundane life, as I navigate empty nest with my husband. You can also get my recipes at my food blog, Rachna cooks.

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